What Does a Counsellor Do? A Guide to Modern Therapy

So, what does a counsellor actually do?

At its heart, counselling is about creating a completely confidential and non-judgemental space for you to make sense of your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Think of it less like getting advice, and more like having an expert guide for your own inner world—someone to help you read the map when you feel a bit lost.

Author: Therapy-with-Ben

Your Guide to Understanding a Counsellor's Role

Deciding to try counselling is a really positive, proactive step towards understanding yourself better. But I get it, a lot of people feel a bit unsure about what actually goes on behind the therapy room door.

With more and more people reaching out for mental health support, it's never been more important to have a clear picture of what a counsellor does and how they can help. The mental health profession here in the UK is growing to meet this need. As of March 2023, there were around 289,000 therapy professionals working across the country. That's a huge number, and it reflects a real shift in how we view mental wellbeing, with over a third (35%) of UK adults having now sought help from a counsellor at some point. If you're interested in the numbers, you can read the latest statistics from the PCPB.

Demystifying the Process

A counsellor’s main job is to listen—really listen—and to offer fresh perspectives that help you develop your own ways of coping. It’s a team effort, built on a strong, trusting partnership. This connection is so fundamental, it has its own name in the field. You can learn a bit more about what makes this partnership work so well in my guide on understanding the therapeutic relationship.

To help manage expectations, it’s really useful to separate the reality of counselling from some of the common myths floating around out there.

The core of counselling isn’t about being given solutions, but about being empowered to find your own. It's a space where you are the expert on your life, and the counsellor is a dedicated facilitator for your personal growth.

Here’s a simple table to clear up what you can expect from a counsellor versus some common misconceptions.

What a Counsellor Does vs What a Counsellor Doesn't Do

What a Counsellor Does	What a Counsellor Doesn't Do
Listens actively and without judgement	Gives direct advice or tells you what to do
Helps you explore your thoughts and feelings	Solves your problems for you
Offers new perspectives and coping strategies	Acts as a friend you just chat with
Maintains strict confidentiality and professional boundaries	Judges your past actions or choices

This table is a great starting point, but this guide will walk you through every other aspect of the counselling journey, giving you a clear foundation for what lies ahead.

A Look Inside a Typical Counselling Session

If you’ve never been to counselling before, the idea of a first session can feel a bit mysterious. A lot of people picture an intense, dramatic conversation pulled straight from a film, but the reality is usually much gentler and more collaborative.

Think of it as a shared space. You bring the raw materials—your thoughts, feelings, and experiences—and I provide a safe, structured environment and professional tools to help you explore them. It’s not just a random chat; there’s a natural rhythm to it, designed to help you get the most from our time together. The whole point is that you feel heard and understood, never pushed or rushed.

The Gentle Rhythm of a Session

A typical 50-minute session tends to follow a simple, predictable pattern, though it’s always flexible enough to meet you where you are on any given day. The journey usually looks something like this:

• The Check-In: We’ll start by touching base on how your week has been. It’s not a test, just a simple way to ground ourselves in the present and see what’s on your mind right now.

• The Deeper Exploration: This is the heart of the session. We’ll focus on whatever you've brought to discuss, whether that’s a specific event, a nagging feeling, or a pattern you’ve started to notice in your life. My role here is to listen deeply, ask thoughtful questions, and help you connect the dots.

• The Reflective Summary: Towards the end, we’ll take a few moments to summarise the key insights or feelings that came up. This really helps to solidify what you’ve discovered and gives you something concrete to carry with you into the week ahead.

This simple diagram breaks down my core role during this process: to listen, explore, and guide.

As you can see, it's an active, three-part process that moves from deep listening to collaborative exploration and supportive guidance.

Finding a Style That Suits You

What a counsellor does also comes down to their therapeutic approach. One common and really effective style is Person-Centred Therapy, which is founded on the simple belief that you are the expert on your own life. My job is to provide empathy, acceptance, and honesty, creating the right conditions for your own growth and self-discovery to unfold.

The aim of person-centred therapy is not to solve problems for the client, but to help the client grow. It empowers them to cope with their current and future problems more effectively.

Of course, modern counselling also recognises that sitting in a traditional therapy room doesn't suit everyone. For some people, a more dynamic setting helps the conversation flow more easily. If you're curious about the specifics, I go into more detail in my post on what happens in counselling sessions.

An innovative alternative is Walk and Talk Therapy, which I offer here in Cheltenham. By taking the session outdoors, we combine the benefits of gentle physical activity and nature with our therapeutic conversation. Many people find that walking side-by-side feels less intense than a face-to-face chat, allowing thoughts and feelings to surface much more naturally.

Why People Seek Counselling in the UK

There’s absolutely no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ reason to see a counsellor. People from every walk of life reach out for support for countless reasons, and my role is to provide a safe harbour to explore these challenges, whether they feel big or small. Far from being a sign of weakness, taking that first step is a proactive and courageous move towards understanding yourself and improving your wellbeing.

The reasons for starting therapy are as unique as the individuals themselves. You don't need a specific diagnosis or to be at a crisis point. Many people simply feel stuck, overwhelmed, or have a nagging sense that something isn’t quite right and just want a confidential space to figure things out.

Common Life Challenges We Can Explore

While everyone's story is different, certain universal experiences often lead people to seek counselling. These aren't just abstract concepts; they're real-life situations that can feel incredibly heavy to carry on your own.

• Anxiety and Stress: In a world that often feels like it's moving at a hundred miles an hour, it’s hardly surprising that anxiety and stress are so common. Counselling can help you get to the root of these feelings and develop practical ways to manage them, rather than letting them manage you.

• Depression and Low Mood: Navigating the weight of depression can feel incredibly isolating. A counsellor provides a consistent, supportive space to explore these feelings without judgement, helping you find a way through the fog and reconnect with a sense of hope.

• Major Life Transitions: Big changes, even the good ones, can throw us off balance. Things like bereavement, redundancy, retirement, or the end of a relationship can leave you feeling completely lost. Counselling offers a steady anchor during these turbulent times, helping you process what’s happened and find your footing again.

People also come to counselling for a whole host of other reasons, including to explore effective mental health support strategies when facing challenging circumstances like a serious illness. The goal is always to provide support that fits your specific situation.

Support for Neurodiversity and Relationships

Beyond these common areas, a key part of what a counsellor does is adapt to the specific, nuanced needs of each person. This is especially important when it comes to neurodiversity and the complexities of human connection.

For neurodivergent individuals, navigating a world that isn't always built for you presents unique challenges. Counselling can be an affirming space for those with autism or ADHD to develop self-understanding and practical strategies. It's not about trying to 'fix' who you are, but about empowering you with tools to thrive on your own terms.

Counselling offers a space to untangle the knots of a specific problem, but more importantly, it helps you learn how to handle the ropes of life with greater skill and confidence long after our sessions end.

Likewise, relationship challenges are a frequent reason for seeking therapy. Whether it’s difficulties with a partner, family members, or colleagues, a counsellor can help you explore communication patterns, understand different perspectives, and build healthier, more fulfilling connections. Whatever brings you to counselling, the journey is about helping you feel seen, heard, and better equipped to move forward.

Navigating Your First Counselling Session

Taking that first step to book a session is often the biggest hurdle. If you're feeling a bit apprehensive about what comes next, believe me, that’s completely normal. A lot of people worry it's going to be an intense, emotional deep-dive from the very first minute, but that’s rarely how it works.

The initial meeting is about something much more fundamental: building a safe and trusting foundation for us to work from. Think of it less like an interrogation and more like a two-way conversation. My goal is to start to get to know you, but just as importantly, it’s a chance for you to see if I feel like the right fit for you.

What to Actually Expect

In our first session, I’ll likely ask some gentle questions about what’s brought you to counselling and what you hope to get from our time together. The key thing to remember is that you are always in control of the pace and how deep we go.

You never have to share anything you aren't ready to discuss. The first session is about establishing safety and connection, not about forcing difficult conversations. Your comfort is the top priority.

This first meeting is really the beginning of a partnership. You can expect me to listen carefully and without judgement, creating a space where you hopefully feel seen and heard. It’s also your opportunity to ask me questions—about my approach, my experience, or anything else you're curious about.

Establishing Our Partnership

A key part of what I do in the first session is establish a clear framework for our future work. We do this by agreeing on what’s known as the therapeutic contract. Now, this isn't a complex legal document; it's simply a clear and open agreement on the ground rules so we both know where we stand.

This usually covers a few important practicalities:

• Confidentiality: Understanding exactly how your privacy is protected.

• Session Times: Agreeing on a regular slot that works for you.

• Fees and Payment: Clarifying the cost and how it's handled.

• Cancellation Policy: Knowing what to do if you ever need to reschedule.

By setting these boundaries together right from the start, we create a predictable and secure structure for our sessions. It ensures you feel fully informed and empowered, making that first meeting not a scary ordeal, but the first confident step on your journey. It's a vital part of building the relationship needed for meaningful change to happen.

How to Find the Right Counsellor For You

Finding a counsellor you genuinely connect with is probably the most important part of the entire process. The relationship you build together is the real foundation for meaningful change, so taking the time to choose carefully is an investment in your own wellbeing.

So, where do you begin? A great first step is to check a counsellor's credentials. Professional bodies like the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) ensure members are properly trained, qualified, and stick to a strict ethical code. This gives you that crucial peace of mind that you're in safe hands.

Counselling psychology in the UK is still a relatively young profession, with the formal structures we know today only really taking shape over the last 25 years or so. Counsellors are trained in various therapeutic approaches to help people explore their feelings and behaviours. With demand on the rise, it's telling that nearly a third of UK adults have now had therapy, showing just how much its value is being recognised.

Considering Your Personal Preferences

Beyond qualifications, it's worth thinking about what might make you feel most comfortable. The right fit is deeply personal, and it's absolutely okay to have preferences. This might come down to the counsellor's gender, age, or their particular way of working.

For instance, some people specifically look for a male counsellor. This could be because they want a man's perspective on their issues, feel they can open up more easily about certain topics, or want to work through past experiences involving male figures in a safe, controlled space. There’s no right or wrong here—it’s about what feels best for you.

Another key decision is how you'll have your sessions. Each format has its own distinct advantages:

• Online Counselling: This offers brilliant flexibility and convenience. You can have your sessions from the comfort of your own home, saving on travel time and fitting therapy more easily into a busy schedule.

• Face-to-Face Sessions: Meeting in person provides a dedicated, private space away from daily life. Many people find this helps them to switch off from everything else and focus completely on the therapy itself.

Making Your Final Choice

Honestly, the best way to know if a counsellor is the right one is to have an initial chat. Most therapists, myself included, offer a free, no-obligation consultation call. This is your chance to ask questions and, most importantly, to see how you feel speaking with them.

Trust your gut. Do you feel heard and understood? Does the conversation flow? A good therapeutic relationship should feel like a safe, collaborative partnership right from the get-go.

That first call is a far more reliable indicator of a good connection than a website profile alone. For a more detailed walkthrough, you might find my practical guide on how to find a therapist in the UK helpful. It breaks down the process step-by-step, giving you the confidence to find your ideal match.

The Real-World Benefits of Counselling

Thinking about counselling isn't just for when things feel like they're falling apart; it's also one of the best things you can do for your long-term wellbeing. The work we do in our sessions isn't abstract – it creates real, noticeable changes that ripple out into every corner of your life.

These positive shifts are really what my job is all about. Together, we work to build your self-awareness, develop healthier ways to handle life’s inevitable ups and downs, and improve how you connect and communicate with the people who matter most.

Building a Foundation of Resilience

Counselling gives you the tools to feel more in control of your own life, equipping you for the long haul. It's encouraging to see that the old stigma around getting mental health support is finally starting to fade. Recent surveys show that a huge 75% of people who’ve had therapy would recommend it, which speaks volumes about the positive impact it has. You can read more about these perceptions in the BACP survey if you're interested.

Counselling is not just about solving today’s problems. It’s about building the resilience and self-understanding to confidently face whatever comes next, empowering you to become your own best guide.

On top of the personal work we do, getting involved in broader mental wellness initiatives can create a more supportive environment for everyone. It all helps build a healthier community.

Your Questions About Counselling Answered

It's completely normal to have questions when you're thinking about starting counselling. In fact, it's a great sign you're taking this step seriously. Let's clear up some of the most common queries I hear, so you can feel more at ease with the whole process.

How Long Does Counselling Take?

This is probably the most common question, and the honest answer is: it really depends. There's no magic number.

Some people come to counselling to work through a specific, immediate problem and find that a shorter-term approach of around 6-12 sessions gives them the clarity and tools they need. For others, exploring deeper-rooted patterns or navigating long-term challenges might mean we work together in a more open-ended way. The timeline is always something we decide on together, and it's built entirely around you.

Is Everything I Say Confidential?

Absolutely. Confidentiality is the bedrock of counselling. Think of our sessions as a completely sealed container; what you share in that space stays in that space. It’s vital that you feel safe enough to be completely open, without any fear of judgement or that your private thoughts will be shared.

The only exception, which is a legal and ethical requirement for all counsellors, is if there's a serious and immediate risk of harm to you or someone else. I'll explain this clearly in our first session so you know exactly where the boundaries are from the very beginning.

What If I Don't Click With My Counsellor?

This is such an important point. The relationship you have with your counsellor—often called the 'therapeutic alliance'—is one of the biggest factors in whether therapy is successful. It’s okay if the first person you meet doesn’t feel right.

A good professional will never be offended by this. You need to feel comfortable and understood, and you should always feel empowered to find the person who is the right fit for you, even if that means having a chat with a few different counsellors first.

Do I Have to Talk About Things I'm Not Ready For?

Not at all. You are always in the driver's seat. My job is to walk alongside you at your pace, not to push you into areas you don't feel ready to explore.

The counselling room is your space. We'll only ever go where you feel safe and prepared to go. Building trust is a gradual process, and there's never any pressure.

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Ready to take the next step? At Therapy-with-Ben, I offer a free, no-obligation consultation to answer any other questions you might have. Start your journey today.