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  • Writer's picturebencrumpler

Understanding Patterns of Behaviour: Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships

Patterns of behaviour can deeply influence our relationships, often leading us to unknowingly repeat familiar dynamics that are unhealthy or harmful. One common pattern is finding oneself in a relationship with someone who isn't good for them, a situation that may stem from past experiences and upbringing. For instance, individuals with a narcissistic father may find themselves drawn to partners who exhibit similar traits, perpetuating a cycle of toxicity and emotional distress.


Recognising these patterns and understanding their origins is essential in breaking free from destructive relationships and creating healthier connections. By delving into the interplay of past experiences, psychological influences, and personal biases, individuals can gain insight into why they may be attracted to certain partners and how these dynamics impact their well-being.


Therapy provides a supportive environment for exploring these patterns of behavior and working towards positive change. A therapist can help individuals identify underlying issues, challenge limiting beliefs, and develop healthier relationship skills. Through introspection, self-reflection, and guidance from a trained professional, individuals can break free from damaging cycles and pave the way for more fulfilling and nurturing relationships.


In conclusion, understanding and breaking free from patterns of behaviour that lead to toxic relationships is a transformative journey towards self-awareness and growth. Through therapy, individuals can explore their past experiences, unravel ingrained patterns, and cultivate healthier relationship dynamics. By shedding light on the impact of childhood influences, such as having a narcissistic father, individuals can begin to heal from past wounds and forge new paths towards fulfilling and empowering relationships. Remember, change is possible, and support is available to help you navigate this process with compassion and resilience.


In these blog posts, I am trying to introduce common themes that I see in my work with clients, in the hope that it will help you understand, that like these repeating patterns mentioned here, this is actually fairly common, as human beings often thrive for familiarity, even when the familiar may be quite destructive or even abusive - it is a case of better the devil we know.


Often the repeat of a relationship similar to one that has broken down before, can simply be us in a deep psychological way trying to fix our own past. Of course, if the individual is no good for us, then unfortunately we simply suffer more and nothing is resolved and the pattern repeats. Again, often in therapy the relationship is designed in such a way, that some reparative work can be done - like the examples earlier in this blog, it doesn’t have to even be the same kind of relationship, it can simply be that being in a healthier dynamic, with some one who is genuinely interested in what is going on for you and doesn’t compound the previous unhelpful behaviour can be reparative and help us to move forward and not repeat, as we are healed enough to change our course.


I know the concept of change can be quite scary but it is better than the alternative, of nothing changing.


Kindest regards, Ben







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